Been A While…

Sorry for the lack of posts, Just haven’t felt like writing I guess.

Not a lot going on but a lot at the same time. I need to do better at getting things done and not letting them pile up and then feeling overwhelmed. This happens a lot to me when there are changes about to occur. I’ve never been good with change.

What do you do to overcome the fear of change?

I haven’t heard anything about the NP job. KN said the search committee was going to meet again today and see where they wanted to go in the process. I’m not nervous about the outcome because whatever happens was in the plans forever. I’m nervous because I just want to find out. All in good time I am sure. To be honest, I guess I am nervous about the outcome, just because there are a lot of puzzle pieces that have to fall into place quickly reguardless of if I am staying in Lincoln or going somewhere else.  Can’t rush God’s timing though. I’m trying to remember that..its really hard sometimes for a “J” to do so.

Randy Pausch

The writer of The Last Lecture has passed away. What a sad week. First we lose a funny lady in Estelle Getty and then we lose a man who’s lessons he wanted to pass on to his children have touched the world.

I have a copy of The Last Lecture sitting on my desk and have read it cover to cover a few times since getting it in may. I have watched many of the YouTube videos featuring his talk, especially his talk on time management. I really have incorporated some of his thinking on time management into my life and have found it to be a great addition.  Many people have stories like mine- how someone we do not even know has touched our lives and changed it for the better. What’s your story?

What Randy says at the end of his lecture still rings in my ears, especially loud today, “This wasn’t for you, it was for my kids.”

Letting it all go….

Have you ever just let things go – the laundry, the dishes, cleaning, caring what your apt/house look like. I guess that’s what happened this week, I just was interested in functioning at the bare minimum levels of functioning. How do you get back in the swing of things?  I’m going to try and do that today…but getting up at 10, does not lend itself too well to that.  Oh well. You can tell I’m really tore up over it.

Glad to be done with camps and work for right now. This week was hard to get through because I was just done. And if you know me, when I am done with something, I really am done and don’t want to deal with it anymore. KN said the search committee would be meeting again so I should know more about the job soon. Trying to stay positive but not overly excited because it may not turn out in my favor.

Totally bummed I made the decision not to go to NC. There are just too many question marks here and I don’t want A and K to not make the plans they need to make for the girls, waiting on my plans to clear up.  I will see them in September at M and J’s wedding though.

I…

I AM: glad the four days of question asking are over.

I THINK: I know more than I really do.

I KNOW: that things will happen in God’s time and within his plan.

I HAVE: way more blessings than I should have.

I WISH: I knew what the next step was.

I HATE: people who don’t hold up their end of the bargain. In life, in work or in relationships.

I MISS: talking with an old friend.

I FEAR: that I have another level of potential that I refuse to tap into.

I HEAR: nothing…

I SMELL: my candle.

I CRAVE: sleep.

I SEARCH: for my place in this world.

I WONDER: who I’ll be in ten years.  What choices will come back to haunt me?

I REGRET: not listening to that small voice inside sometimes.

I LOVE: my family and friends.

I ACHE: to love someone.

I AM NOT: the person many people think I am.

I DANCE: when I’m in the mood…preferably with someone who knows what he is doing.

I SING:  in the car, all the time.

I FIGHT: for fairness. I know, I know, life isn’t fair- but its nice to think about sometimes.

I CRY: too often and mostly from exhaustion.

I WIN: when I do what I have to do, so I can do what I want to do.

I LOSE: faith way too easily.

I NEVER: give less than my best.

I ALWAYS: say yes when asked something, instead of taking the time to properly assess the situation.

I CONFUSE: myself all the time.

I LISTEN: to music all day long.

I CAN USUALLY BE FOUND: at my computer.

I AM SCARED: that something will happen that I can’t control.

I NEED: a vacation.

I AM HAPPY ABOUT: the wonderful summer that I have had.

I IMAGINE: that someday, things will turn out right for me, because my hard work will have paid off.

Stole this from Carmen over at Mom to the Screaming Masses.

Life Laundry

I was reading a post from Zen Habits today about doing your ‘Life Laundry”.  I like the concept, but when do any of us have time?

I tried to do this when I had only 20 hours to work during the week and could arrange my schedule how I wanted t, as long as the things I was responsible for got done.   Now that I have entered the ‘work til 5, Monday -Friday’ world, I haven’t been nearly as productive as I would like to be.  Yes we all have times of transition, but when do those times of transition end and we are really being the most productive individuals we can be?

Is there anything than making an effort to be more productive and do the things that I know I have to do during the day, that I can do?

I think growing up has a lot more secrets that no one wants to tell you about until you get there yourself.   Blah….just a blah day.

Interview Over….

I think the interview on Friday went well. I couldn’t really gage it though. I got alot of compliments from individuals who attended my presentation so that was/ is positive.  Tomorrow I get the opportunity to sit in on staff meeting, not sure why but it’s being included in part of the process.

I thought that having individuals in the room would be a help, and yes they were, but boy did they grill me with questions after my presentation! I think I handed that pretty well…we’ll just have to see what happens!!

Had a good conversation with MM last night, it is interesting how our friendship has had its ups and downs (big on both scale) and we still can find a common ground to talk on.  Honestly after what happend, I wasn’t sure I would ever want to talk to her again…amazing what forgiveness and maturing will do! Struggling with a few other things right now and I’m not sure how to approach them.  They aren’t new things so the amount of time and energy I’m giving them is kind of interesting.  We’ll have to see how they pan out.

All Most Over…

It’s hard to believe that camps are almost over (Really they are over for me, but we still have  week of regrouping after we get back). This summer has been fun and while it would have been nice to have been in Lincoln more, I’m glad I got to travel like I did.

I had dinner last night with KW, and like always, we closed the place down If you are ever in Wood River, NE and need a place to eat, I highly recommend the Brick Oven, the pizza was pretty good! It was nice to get away from GI and catch up on things! Might be out this way again this weekend…we’ll see how tomorrow goes and what I feel like on Saturday morning!

Tomorrow is the big interview. I’m a little nervous, but I think that is just because I would like this job so much! It truely is in God’s hands….he has provided for me this summer so I think he knows what he is doing!

Being productive while you are traveling? How do you do it?  I can’t seem to get a darn thing done!

PS Pretty proud of the sister! SOS two years in a row!

Election 2008

Now there are some subjects that I will rarely blog about…and this is one of them.  I do not feel educated enough or right spouting off my opinions…there are enough talking heads on TV to do that.

But this is one topic that I can not keep my opinion to myself on. Please read the article…..

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/07/12/us/politics/12obama.html?_r=2&oref=slogin&oref=slogin

Now I will admit, I understand the scheduling of these meetings must be in advance,  the organizers tried to work with everyone, and no compromise was really attempted (from how the article reads).  I do know however that this miscue and refusal to be present, is digging BO a hole he may never recover from (not that I mind).

In America today we do not appreciate our Veterans, past and present, as we should but we should never underestimate the power of their influence and vote.  JM served this nation as a POW for 5 years (BO has not even been in the Senate that long), in a war many did not agree with.  The fact that many people did not agree with the Vietnam war should not underestimate the sacrifice that JM and others like him made.  All of our veterans made sacrifices, as did their families.  Some did not pay the price with a life or a limb, but in time and missed life events.

I truely believe that if JM would have been elected in 2000, we would already be out of Iraq and Afganistan as the job would be finished.  We would have already found OBL and dealt with him in the proper manner.  I think that if elected JM will not only finish the job started by GWB but also improve the situation for our Soliders, Sailors, Marines and Airmen.  He’s been there. He will find OSB and bring him to justice for the crimes he has committed.

So BO, if you don’t want to discuss the issues facing Veterans of all wars, that’s fine….just don’t expect their support or the support of the individuals who understand the price that was paid to keep us FREE.

Camp…

is going very well! I have really had a better week than most would have been by this point. Last night we walked up C hill on campus and you really could see for miles! I would have loved to stay up there longer but it was getting ready to rain I will post some pictures later of the views from up there.

J is doing better and there was a chance that she could come home today, I’m not sure what she was going to do. I did talk to her yesterday and she seemed in pretty good spirits…as good as they could be right now.

Sometimes I think I could teach, and be ok with that but I don’t think I could deal with the same students all day long and also think that I would take out frustrations on other classes from the one before…which is not fair and why I probably should not teach. Controlling that is all apart of growing up…still working on that…as are most people!

Yesterday….

Left Lincoln at 07:22, arrived in Chadron at 16:15(MST- MOUNTAIN STANDARD TIME!!) As we drove up I thought Hoss, Adam, Little Joe and Pa Cartwright were going to ride out of the trees to greet us! I can not imagine what it was like for the pioneers coming out here, in a wagon with all of their belongings not knowing what was over the next hill or when they would be stopping to set up their new lives.

 

Fun ride up, it is going to be a good week….these kids are bright and seem to want to be here! J Always a plus! It is absolutely gorgeous out here! I wouldn’t mind being out here forever…find me a boy, find me a job, buy me a farm…and I am SET!

 

Hoping things at home are going to be ok…..J is in the hospital, not sure what is going on and I want to call her and find out but I don’t want to bother her.  I wish there was something I could do, but all I can do is pray and let things work out as planned.

 

Why is it that we always want to help people when we know we should just let God’s plan take its course? What do you do in your daily life to allows God’s plan to take its course or what do you think your biggest hurdle to let God help is?

 

For me, my biggest hurdle is the waiting and uncertainty….I do not like being unaware of things heading my way- big or small. But I have been rewarded in GREAT ways when I do let God’s plan take its course and just wait. I have struggled with just letting his plan take the course it will, but the rewards that I have received because of my patience have been worth it, to say the least!